my reflections

"this above all, to thine ownself be true, and it must follow as night the day, thou canst not be false to any man - polonius"

a friend whom i highly respect gave me this quote just about 1 year back before sch started. reflecting on the year past, i find this to be really very true. most importantly, to be true to the people around u and more importantly youself is probably the most important lesson tt i've learnt.

to not get bothered by other people's opinion of yourself. cuase what's most important is your opinion of yourself after what's God's opinion of yourself. yes, tt's most important. i mean, it's really trying to understand the human psychology and how pple yearn for social acceptance and how the whole matter of 'face' and the desire for respect from others. (which i just realised, may actually be a sideline reason tt i signed on. not a valid reason at all as i reflect on it, but really, it's not anything i can do about now.)

yep, but looking at people around, i find tt many have tt 'yearning' for respect and to put it more bluntly, a false sense of pretence around tt seeks to hide a seemingly inferior aspect of them tt would, in their opinion', serve to tantilate the olfactories of ridicule of their 'peers'. the conclusion tt i reached at this point is tt this is totally rubbish, cause the opinions of others don't matter unless u make them matter. give the paradox some consideration. such oppression comes about only because we ourselves generate it. akin to a catepillar spinning a cacoon. only tt no butterfly comes forth.

living a life based on the opinion of others, trying to make everyone look up to tt empty shell of yours is a sad life. something tt doesn't really fulfill your purpose in life. what's more, it is an oppressing life to live where u have to look out for everything u do, every step u take, merely to sustain tt mirage of a strong and bold person.

it's a real sad sight to see when u look around and find many such people tt arn't really there.

and the worst thing which can happen is when pple choose to maintain tt illusion at the expense of others. indeed a matter of choosing things tt don't matter over things tt do.

i've had the privilage of a handful of pple who've crossed my path of life who've really chose not to be part of this costume-party-of-life. pple who were showing me what life could really be -- a sense of liberation, freedom of expression, and joy in life. pple who were showing it to my eyes tt were wide-shut. pple like cy, rt, lzj (at least).

a life of opression vs tt of liberation. tt's the life tt i think i want to lead. cause i ain't gonna live my life entirely for another. this life's for God and me.  :)

[disclaimer: honestly not directed at particular individuals, just another issue tt i'm trying to sort out with myself and put here for record. :) cheers.]