smuacks

oh well. feeling kinda funny again. all of a sudden. maybe it's the show. all tt memories of the past tt come flooding back again. suddenly feeling very xing(1) suan(1) again. haiz. will the time ever come?

perhaps not in the near future. cause being satisfied as a happy yakid is the sign to know tt u're ready for a relationship. if u're ever looking out for someone else to be by ur side, it just shows tt u're not ready yet. not ready for a relationship. and often it is at this stage when anything u do is full of motive and not really as 'innocent' as it's all supposed to be.

things like what's happening now on tv don't happen in real life. it's just too... perfectily smooth. maybe the jun(4) qiao(4) faces do help lubricate things a little. yep, i guess things are too perfect in shows.

i find the biggest joke being tt u're not ready for relationships if u're looking for one. yet when u're not looking, things just start creeping up slowly. and pouncing on u when u least expect it. well, maybe not really when u least expect it. but more like when relationship is not something at the top of ur priority list. tt's when u know things will start working out.

is it something tt we're looking forward to? something tt we hope tt the other half can give us. company, love, comfort. anything. to share burdens and to keep us company in the times we're down. to call and sweet-talk before we sleep, or even the sms to show warmth and concern when the weather ourside is all nasty and pouring. to have someone to walk u to the bus stop to wait with u. hand in hand. step by step. talking. laughing. snuggling up.

am i right to say tt we'll be disappointed if we look for these things in our partner? i think these things are nice. but these are bonuses. not things tt a relationship should be built on/based on. maybe it's learning not to expect, then u'll never be disappointed. have no expectations in a relationship then maybe tt's probably the only way to be happy.

it's hard to agree, harder to swallow.

if u're feeling tt ur lonely and maybe having tt special someone would change everything, u're probably moving along the wrong track. tt's a wrong footing to start off with liao. there's this nice analogy of a bride lugging her lugguage to the altar thinking how nice it would be for her husband to help her carry her lugguage; little to her surprise her huaband to be is thinking of exactly the same thing and they're both buried under a mountain of lugguage as they exchange their wedding vows.

i shall resolve never to let my life turn out tt way. cause a moment of folly may just let u make the wrong decision... yesternight i went to bed with alot of thoughts in my mind. i was remarking to myself how this senior of mine (already graduated liao) is really the most eligible guy i've seen around, but he seems so happy and unconcerned tt he's still single. everything a girl could want in a guy. mbbs and all tt. someone who seems to be able to live on principles tt he really believes in. i think he's my role model and i shall learn to emulate him.

well, anyway, do i make sense at all? i suspect i don't to many. but maybe tt's just more like scribbling down of random thoughts now. something tt'll make sense to no other than me. something to make me feel better by blogging everything out now. :)