alright, i found my ans today on my qns on bgr and what my aunt told me today really just summed up all my thoughts and all the opinions tt i've heard from my friends whom i've interviewed. and it's a rather nice gesture from God cause my aunt just suddenly came up to me and started talking to me abt bgr stuff and tt it's very important to commit everything to God. cause she learnt it the hard way, and was just sharing with me her courtship with my uncle and what happened and blahblahblah. and she just shared with me abt how she put God first, cause she was actually dating this non-christian when she got converted, and how she told God tt if he's not for her she would want him to initiate the breakup, and how they eventually broke up; and how she finally got together with my uncle, which is an amazing story by itself.

so, when i heard her sharing ot me abt this matter, i just felt something in me tell me to "listen up and listen well". so i did and the ans was just spelled out to me clearly. and there was this unsupressable smile tt came on me. :)

just trust God. commit the bgr stuff into His hands and He will handle it for u. cause He knows far better than me. He knows my heart desires better than i do.

what kimberley said was very true. when i told her why i've this desire in me to look for a soulmate (just in general i might clarify, there's no one in particular i'm refering to). and from the bottom of my heart i really want someone to give to, someone to look after, someone to show my care to. tt someone special to have by me. but then, she asked me again, "why do i want tt 'someone to give to blahblahblah?"

tt got me thinking for quite a while, and i didn't find an answer until i read andy's email today after i came home from family dinner. the ans is simple, it's only because i was lonely and together with a slight tinge of envy and maybe a little curiosity, it started the whole thing going.

yep, "commit it to the Lord." was what my aunt got me as a takehome message. and i'll dwell on it knowing tt He is Yaweh-Jireh. He will provide for me in the right season and time.

so now, i think tt's the end of my little adventure in search of some answers. seek and u shall find right? really u know, it's true. :)