when i'm lonely i think of u.

i was listening to 93.3 just now while waiting for my brother when they played "dang(1) ni(3) gu(1) dan(1) ni(3) hui(4) xiang(2) qi(3) sui(2)" and for the first time i listened to the lyrics carefully. i don't know, maybe it was the stillness of the night in ri at 10pm. no one around mar. yup but as i listened to the song i was suddenly reminded of so many happy memories in the past. and probably a culture tt i missed just so narrowly in my transition into jc.

sometimes i really wonder how things would have been different if i had went to hc instead.

well it's probably just coincidental tt today was the day rjc moved to the new campus in bishan. well i didn't feel the atmosphere there at all. yep, in essence i think it was a disappointment.

i don't know. who needs a friend in times of depression?? it's just an admission of weakness and lack. declaring to everyone tt u need someone to complete u.

but it was just what this song was saying about how much i longed for the company of friends which touched me and made me realise what was lacking in my jc life. a company of real close friends who i could sit back to back and just enjoy the silence between us.

somehow i think i would have found tt person if i had dared to step out into the unknown at sec4. seriously i think so.

honestly, jc was the down point in my life. i won't go to the extent to say that i didn't make friends then, sure i've got to know more pple, but always there was an air of tension and pretense surrounding us. in fact i got most of my life and social activity from outside of class - scouting and in church. it may have been a good thing i guess, cause it allowed me to concentrate on the other 2 areas of my life. and indeed i've drawn much satisfaction from it.

but still i wonder how things would be different. :)