went for culture night today, and it was really good! can say tt i didn't regret going for it. :) good job for all the pple who were involved in it! :) cause it was a real success!

the first few items were pretty good. especially the first guitar solo... wah... really blew me away lor...

and the rest of the items were not too bad either. the acapella was so funny!

but didn't know how to appreciate the band item though. not my taste. *bleh*

the dance was so funny lor... seeign huiting dancing around was erm... hilarious. and it was really an enjoyable performance. :)

i know, the $2 spent was well worth it. maybe try $3 next year. :)

hey jb, wanted to just reply to ur comment but i think this is too long so i'll post it as an entry.

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er... if everything is commit to the Lord, then why not everyone just sit down and God will provide us with everything? I guess there must also be the action on our part. No use asking and not doing anything. Should be proactive, and trust that God will provide.

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wah i love these discussions.

i agree with what u said.

yes, we don't sit back and let God do everything. let's take the example of studying. does tt mean tt we don't study at all and just everything also "grace grace". no, tt's not right because God wants us to have the knowlwdge to become a good doctor. but when we study, we shouldn't study to TRY to achieve good results. but rather, we should study KNOWING tt the good results are already there. yep, it should be stress-free studying. just do ur best and let God do the rest.

hard to believe? i'm serious! though sometimes i forget this and get caught up in mugging too much... i'll learn... :)

christianity is a relationship, not a religion. and a christian life is a walk with God. when he answers, u must respond. then he answers again. it's not a totally passive role for us. there's also 'works' in a sense, but when we work, it is not to work FOR the final victory at the end, but rather just taking our step. then He takes His step, then we take our step.

labour is labour in rest and knowing of the victory. every action on our part is action with confidence of the final outcome.

no, it doesn't work in a way tt i just play all the way w/o studying and walk into the exams expecting to get all ur a's. not even if u read the bible and pray everyday before the exams and NOT studying. it's a wrong understanding of grace. and just a sidenote but u'll probably fail like u never failed before.

work is good. but work w/o the God factor in it is bad.

but what was in my case is tt i was excluding the God factor. well, supposing i was looking for a relationship right now, i would have taken my step already, and i would commit the 'search' to God and wait for His move. but i've realised tt i'm not matured and ready to commit into a relationship right now, what more lacking the resources to do so., and therefore i just pass the whole pasa to Him and ask Him to carry it for me. He'll do the planning and when the time is right, He'll show me. and i just ask tt He make me a better bf-to-be and husband-to-be till the day i meet her. :) well, i've done my part by commiting it to Him. there's nothing for me to do.

the reasons were wrong and the time is not right.

cause, realise tt God's foolishness is greater than the wisdom of men. and His weakness is greater than my strength. why would i want to cling on to anything and try to make it good by my own efforts, stress myself in the process, and not be guaranteed of a victory in the end?

Jesus is my answer.

alright, i found my ans today on my qns on bgr and what my aunt told me today really just summed up all my thoughts and all the opinions tt i've heard from my friends whom i've interviewed. and it's a rather nice gesture from God cause my aunt just suddenly came up to me and started talking to me abt bgr stuff and tt it's very important to commit everything to God. cause she learnt it the hard way, and was just sharing with me her courtship with my uncle and what happened and blahblahblah. and she just shared with me abt how she put God first, cause she was actually dating this non-christian when she got converted, and how she told God tt if he's not for her she would want him to initiate the breakup, and how they eventually broke up; and how she finally got together with my uncle, which is an amazing story by itself.

so, when i heard her sharing ot me abt this matter, i just felt something in me tell me to "listen up and listen well". so i did and the ans was just spelled out to me clearly. and there was this unsupressable smile tt came on me. :)

just trust God. commit the bgr stuff into His hands and He will handle it for u. cause He knows far better than me. He knows my heart desires better than i do.

what kimberley said was very true. when i told her why i've this desire in me to look for a soulmate (just in general i might clarify, there's no one in particular i'm refering to). and from the bottom of my heart i really want someone to give to, someone to look after, someone to show my care to. tt someone special to have by me. but then, she asked me again, "why do i want tt 'someone to give to blahblahblah?"

tt got me thinking for quite a while, and i didn't find an answer until i read andy's email today after i came home from family dinner. the ans is simple, it's only because i was lonely and together with a slight tinge of envy and maybe a little curiosity, it started the whole thing going.

yep, "commit it to the Lord." was what my aunt got me as a takehome message. and i'll dwell on it knowing tt He is Yaweh-Jireh. He will provide for me in the right season and time.

so now, i think tt's the end of my little adventure in search of some answers. seek and u shall find right? really u know, it's true. :)

wah, so happy today, just got a pleasant surprise when my previous maid called from hongkong. she's now working there and quite happy it seems. :) it's been a long time since she left our home but it's very heartwarming to know tt she still remembers us and calls once in a while to talk to us. once a year maybe, but tt 5 mins of conversation really makes me feel very special.

if i remember correctly, when she left my brothers and i told her to call back once in a while. and the best part is tt she really did. year after year. she was the last maid tt we had before my father decided tt we should be more independent and so stopped getting a domestic helper. so it has since been 3-4 years tt we've been without a maid at home.

especially when for them, they don't really earn much and every cent saved goes back to their families back in their homeotwn. still, there was the trouble and cost mad to make tt long distance call. it really was a very nice gesture to show she cares. and she remembers. though there's still a language barrier over the phone just now as there was years ago when i was talking to her face to face, though i had to speak slowly in broken english for her to understand, there was really just a warmth tt surged in me tt just touched me. :)

she never was just a maid, and has always been a friend. there's a person who knows about the philosophy of caring despite having not much education and earning even lesser than what i'm getting for my allowance now. and there's something in her tt we can all learn from. and tt something tt i learnt afresh today touched me.

hehe. swiped this off raymond's blog. and apparently he got this from his friend blog. quite interesting and a very well overdue wake up call for us. get ur priorities right today! :)

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Mary and Susan were friends for years. They grew up together and attended the same schools. They were now both in their 40's, and both had great careers. They both had a similar upbringing - same education, same family values, similar support and financial position. But there was one main difference.

Mary never seemed to have enough time. She watched her life long friend Susan. She had similar responsibilities and interests. Susan had a career, she had three children, she had her hobbies, one of which included golf.

Over lunch, Susan was telling Mary about the golf game that she played last weekend.

"Susan, where do you find the time to play golf?" asked Mary. "I never seem to have the time, now with the children older and doing their own thing I thought I would have time to play golf like we did when we were in college." Susan looked at Mary and laughed, "Mary, we both have the same hours in a day. You do have the time to play golf!" With a sigh Mary replied, "That's easy for you to say. I never seem to have time. My work takes so much of my time. I am in the office at 7:30, I leave at 6:30 in the evening. By the time I get home and have dinner, it is 8:00! And, then I usually have a briefcase full of work. The weekends are full of more work. Just to keep up, I have to put in the hours. You know what it is like!"

"Of course, I know what it is like," Susan said. "But what would happen tomorrow if you got sick? Who would do the work?""Sick. Who has time to get sick! exclaimed Mary. "But if I did get sick, someone else would do the work, I suppose."

"You know something, Mary, I used to be like you. I worked night and day and of course on weekends. When I got home I was exhausted but I would push myself and read my children a bedtime story. By the time I went to bed, I would be more than exhausted. The boss I had was very demanding. She was there early in the morning, late at night, and she always worked weekends.

I felt I had to do the same - I needed the job to help support my family -just as you did. But then I had a change of bosses. The man I worked for was older and much wiser, I might add! Of course, I continued to work the hours I had been working. One day he came to my desk and passed me a card that had a quote on it which said, 'What I do today is important, because I will never have today again' - then he left.

I sat there stunned. I suddenly thought of what was important to me. While my work was important, I realized my children were more important. I also realized that time for me was important. It was 4:30, the official closing time of the office. I straightened my desk, felt a twinge of guilt about leaving, but I forced myself to leave. I was home by 5:00. Mychildren and husband were surprised. I had a wonderful evening. It was not a chore to read that bedtime story that evening."

Mary was looking at her friend thoughtfully and then questioned Susan about the work she had left on her desk. Susan replied, "I never thought this possible, but I actually accomplished more the next day then I had in weeks. As I was leaving the next day I stopped at my new boss's office and thanked him for the quote.

He told me a story about advice his dad had given him many years ago when he was working night and day. He referred to it as 'Balance of Life'. His dad told him to keep balance in his work, in his family life and in time for himself. He explained to me, while all aspects of our life are important, without a balance, you become addicted and like all addictions you lose:

* no balance with your family - you lose them

* no balance with your work - you lose your perspective and you actually lose focus on the important aspects of your job.

* no balance with yourself - you forget who you are and when you retire you have nothing! Or worse than that, if you lose your job through a company sale or downsizing you lose your identity.

He went on to tell me that who we are is NOT what we do to make a living. Who we are is a balance of our family, our work, ourselves! It truly was the best advice I ever received."

Mary took a drink of her tea and tearfully looked at her friend, "But I would never get my work done if I left at 4:30!"Susan looked thoughtfully at her, "When you go to work on Monday, Look at what you have on your desk. Make a list of everything you have to Get done and beside that list write the impact of not doing it. Then focus Only on the top three items that have the most impact. Do that everyday for a week. At first, you will find it difficult to leave. But, after awhile, you will find that you will have more energy, and you will be more focused in your work because you have BALANCE! There are times when we have to lose balance- a special project at work, or a family matter at home - but consciously focusing on balance keeps everything in check."

Mary smiled at her friend, "Thanks for talking with me. We have been friends for so long. Thank heavens I have balance with our friendship! You have convinced me. I will leave the work in my briefcase this weekend. On Monday, I will make the list first thing. Perhaps next weekend, I will have the time to go golfing with you!"

"Balance of Life" - important for us ALL!

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.

What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why ou are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

yi shan yi shan liang jing jing,
man tian dou shi xiao xing xing.
gua zhai tian kong liang liang de,
hao xiang xu duo xiao yan jing.

man tian, liang xing,
dai biao xing zhong xu duo qing.
hao xiang nian ni,
hao xiang wen ni,
bi shang yan jing ji you ni.

aww, so sweet. but there's a tune to it too. learnt it from a friend and just thought i'ld put it down here for my rememberance cause it prob won't make sense to others too w/o the hanyu pinying. :)

haiz. rather irritated at the service quality of sbs. but then again, this is just another blind shot at a GLC which will probably lead to nowhere. well, expect perhaps lift myself to a whole new level of self-gratification. and perhaps realisation too.

anyway, details are something like waiting for BOTH bus services i patronise on my way home(since i have to change bus at queenstown). and waiting 20 mins for each service is no joke. esp when it's already 10pm. argh.

sidenote: i luv activities at the science foyer. kudos to the milo truck. though i accidently spilt some on my sleeve today and ended up smelling like an unwashed mug previously used to conain milo for some time. but anyway...

feeling rather tired now. just bathed and going to sleep soon. now, u didn't need to know tt right...

mr moh's online now. was chatting to him a bit.

oh yy was asking abt how come enoch was able to be 'raptured' directly into heaven. i think these qns are quite interesting. starts pple thinking. and wm if u're reading this, rem to go find out the meanings of the names in the geanologys. u can get it from one of the links on the left column.

think i'll go swimming tml. need to unwind a bit.

ok lar. i'll sleep now. and PLS quick post me ur comments on my previous entry... u can make urself annonymous if u don't feel like being identified. :) so far only got to interview wm. yep, but help is appreciated! *grin*

hmmmm, i'm in a contemplative mood today, thinking abt bgr again. haha~~, as usual, 'cause this is probably a matter close to my heart till the day i get married. :)

and i'm just trying to 'interview' closer friends, who are currently in a relationship or have been in a relationship before, and try to weigh the pros and cons of getting into 1 myself. and it's always interesting to note what they say and see things from their point of view.

sometimes when i try to look at myself and understand my own psychology, on why i am so cautious into moving into this area, it intrigues me very much. how what i think and what i do is a consequence of what has happened and what i have experienced.

maybe it's 'cause i've too high ideals? is tt possible? and should i compromise at all? or maybe it's just as simple as a classical instance of 'once bitten twice shy'?

i once told myself tt thr first gf i would have i would marry her. cause for me, once is enough. and for every relationship tt we come out of, it definetely hurts, 'cause there'll be many happy but painful memories to look at. perhaps i'm not one to give away my heart too easily. but these thoughts are really just a nicer way to look at myself. maybe beneath this cloud of self-delusion, i'm just afraid. and very selfish.

feeling a little schizo now.

i'm rather confused. will just ask ard a little more before i finally decide what i think.

wah. went driving in the morn and praise God, IT'S MY LAST LESSON LIAO!!!

haha. so happy. anyway test's next month. hope i'll be able to get my license then. *big silly grin*

then went to sch to study and just happened to meet up with wm in a twist and turn of events. and we were wondering for a loooong time what's the problem with the pelvic fascia thingy till we called up andre and after a long explaination, which is awfully nice of andre to always oblige us, and we came to the conclusion tt it's not really tt impt.

yes, as most of the qns tt i have usually are.

wm left for dinner at home. and i just heard from him tt he WALKED home from nus. go figure the degree of his insanity. then was sitting at the devin and dawn table. those 2 are really a very sweet couple. and very nice pple also. look good together somemore. :) then they left for dinner and i also left a short time after to go ikea.

bought this nice potted plant for my toliet and also a 1.7m mirror for my room simply to satisfy my narrcisstic tendencies. but it's VERY hard to put up. cause i insisted on using 2x-sided tape. to try to stick the insane contraption to the wall. the 1st attempt was fine at first. till i realised tt the mirror was slanted. GRRRREEAAAATTT!!!!!

and the 2x-sided tape was just too sticky. and i tore off 2 seperate portions of paint from the walls in my valient attempt at mirror-removing.

wah. really damn demoralised.

but then after tt my dad came to help. and i was so glad tt he didn't scold me for the wall but actually even drove out to help me get more 2x-sided tape, since the super-duper-heavy-duty one i used the 1st time had scraps of paint stuck to its underside...

yup. then it's up now and looks good. i mean the mirror and tt *ahem* good looking dude in there.

*twap*

now who did tt?!?! *hope turns his head ard wildly searching for for his assailant.

but anyway today was quite an exciting day. and my fingers still hurt from having trying to peel the mirror from the wall...

meanwhile when we're still in the mood of lotr, u may want to de-stress by listening to the "hobbit ballad".

more amusing to see those pointy eared pple jumping ard than anything else. cause u can't really hear the lyrics too clearly. and might i add tt it looks as if it has been swiped from a 70's' comedy.

oh, i recently got this powerful revelation tt i thought i'ld type out and now blog. apologies to those non-christians out there should u not understand but for those who do, read it and be blessed! :)

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hi guys, i just got this revelation fresh from heaven a couple of days ago and have since been bursting to want to share with pple. *silly grin* and just felt inspiration for typing it out today.

just sometime ago i was discussing 2cor 12 with my ex cg pple and we were just looking at what paul was saying abt the thorn in the flesh. (u may want to flip there if u're bible's handy at the moment.) in the past i've always read the passage and been left so confused as to what he was talking abt. and when i realised what it meant in the end, i was left just so speechless.

and v10 is just such a wonderful exaltation of the faithfulness and goodness of our God. just read it and how can anyone say what paul is saying w/o having COMPLETE trust in God?

v10 goes, "therefore i take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. for when i'm weak, then i am strong" and this verse did not make sense in me. but it was because i was looking at it from MY diminished view of our God. look at God through how paul views God. he sees Him as one who NEVER DISAPPOINTS; NEVER FAILS those who trust Him. for it is written, "my heart trusts in You and i am helped." paul really believes this. paul SEES the victory on the cross tt Jesus has purchased.

paul SEES the victory on the cross tt Christ has purchased.

and tt victory to him is THAT real. because he has COMPLETE faith tt the victory for his problem was purchased at calvary.

what God has promised is tt final victory tt we can be sure of. God has not promised tt we will have tt victory instataneously. just like paul who asked God 3x to remove tt thorn in the flesh but it was not removed yet. although i think it was not recorded, u tell me the final outcome of paul's problem. :)

so where does v9 come in? "and He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' " what is said here is tt when u are still going through the problem or trial tt u have, His grace will sustain u through. He will not allow u to be trialed beyond your limits.

so why does God allow trials in our lives? firstly, christianity is not abt doing, but abt all having been done. the most glorious thing we can do on our part is to point pple to Jesus. and it's EXACTLY WHAT THESE TRIALS IN OUR LIVES ARE FOR. "for Christ's sake" as paul puts it. cause when pple see how although trials come your way, God's "grace has been sufficient for you", and tt His "strength is made perfect in (your) weakness", they can really see tt there's a God in you. a living God tt gives hope tt will draw them to God.

what's more, we have a guarenteed, chop stamp double assurance VICTORY at the end of your trials! rejoice!

trials help us point pple to God. cause the ending will be glorious! amen!

any problems tt satan throws at us, be it academic results; work; projects, or ANY other problems, we should learn to have tt same faith tt paul has in OUR God. tt perfect, undoubting faith tt God is our Provider and Deliever. for it is written, "all things work for GOOD for him who is in Christ". and look at the victory tt He has purchased for us at tt cross on calvary by His blood.

it's really a great personal revelation to me. "Do not be afraid. Stand STILL, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today."

only believe guys, only believe.