Thursday, September 30, 2004

dae3

bs today was excellent. alot of juicy pts pastor shared with us today which really got me excited! and after bs judy came and passed me my bdae present - a sigg bottle, and a really sweet card tt i think ivonne made. nicenice. thanks. :) *waves* then after tt judy, peer, han and eugene prayed for me.

thanks dear cg for the nice card. :) yulius, ting, belinda, zhon, dann, judy, yvonne, shan, wanlin, hongwei, kim, freddy, ashley!

these are the things said, put here for future reference:
1) i'm the light of the world bringing goodness everywhere i go
2) experience a greater revelation of God's love this coming year.
3) the trials allowed in my life have made me nothing of myself tt God can be everything for me. broken, only to point me in the right direction.
4) overflowing broken vessel - tt's me. :) yet i'll be filled to overflowing.

oh yes and i got some new photos for 28/09/04.

tml is an exciting day. well today actually, depends on how u look at it... :)


Wednesday, September 29, 2004

i made 1 more new friend today on the way to town!

actually i realised tt there're alot of nice personalities ard in sch. pple who once u break through tt inital awkwardness, u'll find urself really good friends who u can talk to. :)

well of course u would have realised tt awkwardness doesn't just disappear by itself. u have to work at it and be friendly urself. talk to more pple, say hi more often. smile more. just realised this when i was tokking to gan over lunch.

there's really no need to feel 'paiseh' or anything. rarely pple will think tt u're 'siao' for saying hi, even to pple in the same batch who u never talked to before but say before ard in lecture. most pple are actually quite nice and will wave back. :) i'ld like to think of it as the devin policy. cause he really just embodies this principle and also is a firm subscriber to this 'sch of thought'.

don't have an attitude of 'hey-i-must-act-cool-and-don't-look-despo'; or 'what-will-he-think-of-me', but rather be very frank and earnest, real and open. just be yourself, open up to pple. tt's really impt.

no, it's not abt how many pple know u or how many friends u have. tt's really not impt at all. it's just all abt breaking down all our auras of false pretence and coldness and let everyone be more comfortable together. makes the whole learning env (and the future working env) more hospitable. alright, couldn't resist tt pun. haha.

the terminal

had a post-bdae swensen's lunch with gan and did some nice talk, then went to watch the terminal. it was a wonderful show. :) we're all waiting for something in life, and often it's the wait tt's the exciting and meaningful part.

i mean, it's the journey there and not the final destination tt matters sometimes. it's how u get there and now when u get there. there are really many experiences we learn in our walk of life. things tt just happen to come along - things tt we don't plan to learn/do/experience, but happen to just come up along as a 'side product', but make us feel tt tt's one of the more impt lessons we learn.

along the way, stop to smell the roses. think about the finer things in life and get ur priorities in order. try not to rush from plane to plane, stop along at the bookshop or cafe to sip a cup of warm coffee and have a nice book in hand.

life is meant to be enjoyed. every single moment is to be cherished. life's not something to be rushed through, managing details upon details and trying to accomplish as much as possible in the 80 yrs we're given. i was reflecting the other day with cheesie and i asked her, "think abt it hor, we've actually used up 1/4 of our lives liao. what's the 1st thing which comes into mind? too short? too long? or just nice?"

well, i think it's just nice. 60 more yrs (well, at least) to go, i think i'll probably enjoy it.

in fact come to think abt it, airport terminals are places filled with si much emotion - departure halls packed with sadness, loneliness, excitement, fear; arrival halls filled with longing, pining, joyful hearts with tears of joy. and what a setting for such a movie.

many of us never stop to appreciate such stuff. inconsequential it may seem. and more often than not, it's only at the very end of the journey when we wished we had taken more time to stop and rest. it's in perculiar situations when we're twisted by the arm by circumstances tt we finally halt our weary feet to stop and think and see. just like in the movie.

well actually there were many more issues tt were dealt with in the movie. wonderful show. superb acting by tom hanks and nice directing by steven spielberg too.

and i bought a nice white tee from FF today. haha gan recc one. and i think the words written on it were quite in line with the movie which was really one reason why i bought it. and also cause it's comfy material, has a nice cuting and reasonably priced too. hehe will wear tml. :)

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

i'm 20!

i think it would suffice to say tt this yr's bdae is the most memorable of all. honestly, not just some cliche or anything. it is indeed the one where i felt most loved and special, surrounded by wonderful friends. few words can describe the joy in me and the gratefulness i have right now. :)

thanks to gibbs, ivan, karen, simp, judy, eugene, qich, txl, huili, raymond, u-jin, ht, anin, jiabin, yiqing, jack, lihua, anil, peer, wanlin, john, emily, gimyong, cheesie, alvin, enli, kim, jason, hongwei, tingting, zj, jon chia, geraldine, linus, jingyu, zikang, ken, sf, christine, george, weiliang, shuwei, devin, timo, tilam, victor, mingchang, belinda, gan, stella, pak ling, sijin, andre, wm, and of course my family who have made the time and effort to make this day super special.

this IS one bdae tt i will forever remember all the days of my life. :)

haha got alot of interesting presents - a blue furry pencil box; brownie cake; 2 soft toys; lantern; cd; wallet; hk-ish pink/yellow/white/grey shirt. supposed to get 2 more things too, but yan(2) hou(4) cause never meet. :) cut cake 3x today also. hehe. so very good, got 3x wishes mar juan(4) dao(4) this yr.... haha, siao. :)

watched jing(3) cha(2) gu(4) shi(4) 2x today - once with wm, andre, raymond and tee axe elle; other one was just 3 hrs later with anin, dan, zikang, peer, jason, ken. haha it was quite a good show lar, so don't really mind. exciting. and i found tt watching it the 2nd time got special details u never noticed the 1st time u watched.

fri's an exciting day! going nite cycling with ex cg. looking forward to it. :)

i'm very very happie~! :D

yay in the last few mins i was suddenly overwhelmed by a rush of warm love. pple who mean alot to me made me feel very special and remembered. i'm very very happy right now. haha, think i can't sleep but i guess still have to. :)

thanks to gibbs, ivan, karen, simp, judy, eugene, qich, xinlin, huili, raymond, u-jin, ht, anin, wm, alvin, jb for making a wonderful start to this special day. luv u guys lots! :)

see u guys tml. :)

Monday, September 27, 2004

great dinner

had a wonderful dinner at trader's hotel with family. the food was fantastic! :) the moment i walked past and saw the salmon sashmi... wah i tell u... and looks are not deceiving lorz. it was really sweet. had 3 plates of sashimi, then somemore went for more smoked salmon. hehe.

sashimi with wasabi is simply fabulous. :)

then also there was super nice ee-mee (which usually no one will eat cause carbo like rice/noodles in buffets is a strict nono). but it was really nice, tasty and not ni(4) at all. the laksa was mei(2) you(3) hua(4) shuo(1) also. the prawns were very fresh and really succulent -- crunchy is not an exaggeration.

haha and there was egg! my long lost friend, very long never meet up with my palates liao, but today with the laksa i ate almost a whole egg. haha. :)

after dinner we went tanglin mall to walk walk, but most of the shops were already closed. so just walk ard in tanglin marketplace lor. haha my bros and i saw the weighing machine (for vegs) and we decided to weigh our hdpns. and it turns out tt all our phones weigh 94 grams exactly. so qiao(3) one. :) and then the paiseh thing happened -- the weighing auntie started walking over and when we saw, we just quickly picked up our phones and acted as if nothing happened, and began to walk away. haha. so malu. but then again it is tanglin marketplace leh. of course they never scold us lar. if it was ntuc sure kena suaned until must hide in hole...

this yr's maf i feel very loved. i can feel something different liao even before the actual day comes. excited.

something happened in the toliet just now and i msged p and m. i believe God's word. i am healed because He says so. :)

Sunday, September 26, 2004

pao(3) bu(4) liao(3)...

aiyoh i still have pbl to do... have to search on clinical manifestations of stomach patho. sigh. pbl shifted from wed to tml, which means i have to finish it in the next couple of hours...

realised tt i have this big blister on the sole of my r foot b/w my big and 2nd toe. hmm hurts, cannot walk properly now liao.

we tried the starbucks mooncakes just now. NOT NICE ONE. they have coffee and green tea flavour - coffee tastes like coffee powder mixed with a small amt of water till u get a gooey paste; green tea is awefully sweet, can't really taste much... and it's almost $6 for a small itsy bitsy mooncake. aunt got them for us.

in fact, my family has this custom of not buying mooncakes, at least during maf. after maf is a great time to buy them. just 2 boxes really each maf - 1 for my grandma and the other for my auntie who always gives us mooncakes. the rest of the boxes will just come in from who-knows-where gradually. anyway i firmly believe tt mooncakes are rather overpriced. i don't mind paying for GOOD (and of course v yummy) mooncakes but $20 for some ave lotus paste and skin-of-complx-carbo i would rather not.

this yr's maf will be a very special one for me. looking forward to enjoying it. :)


this is the finisher's medal. no, not a silver medal. Posted by Hello

1:39

yay just came back from ahm, quite pleased with the run. :) met alot of pple there too like christopher, chenyong, lavin, pple who i haven't seen in a long time since. and my shoes are good! didn't disappoint.

prep started last night dinner when i just ate and ate lar. abt 2.5 average meals for dinner to carbo load for this morning's run. then i suddenly realised i didn't collect my race pack last wk end! it just slipped my mind through the week to call them up to check what should i do. in fact had some trouble sleeping even (1 thing because of the early time i went to bed; other thing because of the fact i didn't collect my number tag...) said a little prayer and poped a panadol and eventually dozed off.

woke at 4am lor to get ready, had a good breakfast and met chris at esplanade to prep for the run. and i only discovered something shocking today - sf's brother is a TWIN bro. and the way i found out was very funny also. cause i was smiling at his bro and he gave me tt bewildered look... then i noticed someone totally alike standing next to him! haha~~ and sf's bro had a big diamond ear stud. which shocked me a bit when i thought tt was sf. haha. damn funny.

the no. tag prob was solved cause they allowed those who didn't collect to collect on the spot - which was actually clearly stated on the website tt runners who didn't collect their no. tags prior to the race day would NOT be allowed to collect their tags at the race itself. whoah~ real thankful abt tt. :)

the race was good for a combination of reasons -- adequate water points with nice drink; scenic route; good weather; rather spaced out pple so don't need to cluster; non-irritating sponsors with great frebiees; met alot of old friends; completed the race in good time; and the sense tt everything just turned out well even though there were zhuang(4) kuang(4) in the beginning i.e. no. tag.

great day. :) i love running, it makes me SmilE. i think i'll run another mile.

Friday, September 24, 2004

pest invasion.

omg i just got the shock of my life, a cockroach just visited me when i was in the toliet. wah lau. damn off lor. and after tt i go look for it to catch it, then i found TWO of them talking, having a nice chit chat...

caught 1 and it's now in the toliet bowl. other 1 is on the loose. NOOOOooooo...... anyway i sprayed it with some hair spray and it shrivelled, with alot of rubbish stuck to it scuttling ard.

somehow i don't dare to just get a tissue and catch it. haha.

damn gross. damn off.

and in case u were thinking... no, my house is not some dumpster. this is the 1st time i've had such experience.

hmmm, fin(1) shou(3) kuai(4) le(4) is on. was one of my fav songs.

*s&s*

aiyoh now cannot play dota liao... cause i can't find my original reign of chaos and am using this pirated copy... although i've original frozen throne, i still cannot access bnet. or worse still cannot even connect to the guys on lancraft! aiyoh! life's sad.

other than tt, today was a good day in general. but it was a loooong day lorz. honestly i think everyone was very sianz after lunch. but it just got worse during cofm tut. aiyoh... cheesie was asking me, "hey what were the 3 pts he just said? blahblahblah......" and the words just drifted on, didn't register anything to me. just turn and smile with tt blank face.

jng came to crash today. cause he's leaving liao and so came to say bye. tt's nice. will see him in aug again. and wz also came and have lunch here! wah~ today so many pple come visit. nice. haven't seen wz in a long time liao, still haven't changed, super tall and friendly. :)

after lesson went to town with raymond, jb, b. haha, quite onz leh our cofm tut grp! just walk ard look at stuff lor, didn't buy anything though, but just happy to have some unwinding at the end of the week and some good company too.

went for dinner with jb and wee nam kee chicken rice at novena. wah, very good. then we had a nice chat over dinner / post dinner. supper anyone?

right now i'm listening to 933. ying(1) yue(4) ri(4) ji(4) is quite nice... but really it has a potential to make me feel sad... bgr is something tt has a magical draw tt brings us like flies into the flame. sometimes u may know it'll hurt but u still go ahead with it and take the plunge. get burnt, start wallowing and licking those sores.

is friendship too much to ask for when a more special relationship has failed? i'm thinking tt in fact the best course of action would be not to communicate liao, don't ou(3) duan(4) si(1) lian(2)... but sometimes it's hard. gimme more time, i'll try to cut down and maybe we can find ourselves again, independent. cause u give me the impression tt this is what u want. yet when i ask u, u just deny it. oh well i'm confused. can i just assume here and now?

i should go to bed early to avoid depression i guess. don't think so much. or maybe i think i need someone to talk to.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

wah this is the life man... just got home and bought a BIG bowl of zhu(1) zha(2) tang(1) for supper. all to myself. sitting here in front of the comp with my contacts off after 18 hrs in my eyes; with the oc on the tv and the aircon blowing down my bare back.

hmmm. nice. but just an hour before it wasn't this heavenly...

CAUSE I TOOK THE WRONG BUS. 36 from outside carrefour actually. which brought me all the way to marine parade on the ecp. wah lau. something like what happened to sj the other day. haiyoh, i tell u it's all about bus passes lar. pple who have bus passes are more prone to take the wrong bus because they simply don't bother to check and scrutinise the bus route properly. just a general direction and "hey, let's go!". totally brainless. hard to fathom at this pt but seemed logical at the moment.

so anyway i spent extra 40 mins on the bus to and from marine parade. which actually enabled me to finish watching "the apprentice". it's quite nice really. like today how they managed to rent out this place for US$40800/day. talk abt big money. really different from what a s'pore wheel of fortune contestant brings to mind when he says "big money".

bs was fantastic today. went down with lz and john. haha, lz was super funny on the bus trip down. she was messaging this person to ask out for dinner then of course msged the wrong person lar... someone wif the same name but IN MED FAC. dont' bother guessing who... then the guy was like "har, are u sure u msg the right person?" lz insisted "of course correct..." and went on to kb how come pple are shocked when she ask them out for dinner just for fun.

HAHA

then so qiao(3) someone called john and started asking him for advice cause this person called him out suddenly and asked him out for dinner. yar u guessed it. the rest is history. just laughing out loud on the bus lar, don't know got how many pple staring. haha. damn blur girl.

zhu(1) zha(2) tang(1) is wonderful. mmmmmm......

new skin... if u haven't noticed...

omg it's zhou jie lun!

oh well, just to get into the mood of things. :)

---

another riddle:

why did the policeman stop zhou jie lun when he was walking down orchard road?

cause he was jay walking. ok lame, many prob heard it before. but still...

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

i suddenly feel extra loved

my dad walked in today and passed me an article to read - it was abt my family. wah. it's so different being 'published' and reading abt urself in print in the 3rd person narrative.

reading on, i feel a sudden sense of love and accomplishment and see the grace God has extended to me and my household these past 7 years. we've come so far all by the grace of God really.

despite the circumstances around; despite how dark the times looked, God never left me nor forsook me. on his arms he carried me through and exalted me, simply cause i knew his name. he makes a way where there seems to be no way. :) thanks God. u luv me lots.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

yet another day

just came back from a good jog with my new shoes. quite pleased with them actually. comfortable. haven't been training for ahm which is incidently this coming wkend... oh well. lanlan lorz. :) plan to run again on thurs with qich, mx, yq and sj and tt's tt liao. rest.

very sianz... cause i still got alot of laundry to do, alot of clothes to iron. i've now like nothing left to wear larz. all so crumpled how...

oh yes today there was audition for playhouse. haha very funny. lz came in to audition for mdm tan. and she was damn funny! haha the way she talked and the way k robbed her and when she screamed. WAH LAU. super action. and it was super funny when she was talking in tt phone s** voice. haha. this type of thing must censor but i think pple can guess lar. :) anyway she got slammed by g and k. haha.

and today on the way home it was SUPER-cold on 111. i was really shivering when i sat down. cannot lar, next time must bring sweater liao.

gtg bath now.

joke of the day

what type of plant loves pop music? quick go think. ans is below hidden in black.

corn. cause it's pop-corn.

Monday, September 20, 2004


cc orchard fountain! very nice place with great ambience. :) Posted by Hello


from L to R, some vege dumpling, siew mai, and xiao long bao.haha, taking this photo reminds me of hk where we took photos of all the food we ate. :) Posted by Hello


this is at ding tai feng. great food! Posted by Hello

catch up

just came back from dinner, had a wonderful time catching up and talking to pple. c's leaving this thurs, in fact 1 wk earlier than cy. cy's the chao slacker waiting for pple to look for accomodation for him. :) we went to ding tai feng at paragon for dinner. wah i tell u the xiao long bao is good! super nice the soup, i think it's better than crystal jade's. and the skin has such a smooth texture, bit elastic. very nice. :)

supper was at cc orchard fountain. gan treated us to desert. haha thanks. :) we ended up ordering all chocolate stuff (quite unintentionally since only 1 item of the 3 on the menu mentioned anything abt chocolate)

but it was a great time meeting pu and talking abt stuff. won't be seeing c for 1 year now, so i guess it's good to at least meet up during the time she's back. the whole thing was quite last minute cause actually it was supposed to be me and c for coffee in the afternoon only. and it so happened tt gan and emily were meeting for dinner on the same day... when i told gan i was having coffee in the afternoon with c, he suggested we just go for dinner together instead lorz. then s and wm just suddenly appeared from no where. haha. anyway think i better go sleep, i need some rest.


haha and these are the shoes i bought. siao boh... but anyway i must get something tt is 1.light; 2.support for my flat feet. there were not many choices which could fulfill these 2 criteria so i ended up with this. :) frankly i think also the color's too flashy. Posted by Hello


this is the clown whom we held a dinner in honor of. he's incorrigible, didn't even treat us to dinner. yoz, smile for the camera leh. *grinz* Posted by Hello


this is the classroom where we had our theory lessons. the place has a 'chalet-feeling' and we got very drowsy after a while, lying on the benches waiting for pple to chase us away cause they got no place to sit. Posted by Hello


3 happy pple after the 1st lesson. hoon was taking the picture. we were windsurfing near the beach u see on the LHS of the photo. the water is VERY dirty. Posted by Hello


here are we posing in front of the sails. quite alot of sails, many of them are really beautiful. we're looking at the side cause we saw a chiobu walk past. Posted by Hello

tired busy

last wkend was a super hectic weekend... on sat morning i went to bedok to buy running shoes with chris (at some warehouse), then immediattely after tt went to meet cy, wx, jg for windsurfing at east coast. was, quite fun. but the only thing was tt i kept falling into the water lar... haha... but after we got the hang of it things started looking up liao. immediately after windsurfing went out for dinner at breks and pool/arcade with the scouts pple. haha, the dinner was suppsoed to be held in the honor of cy cause he'll be leaving soon back to uk. and what more sat was jg's bdae. :)

then sun early in morning went for the 2nd windsurfing lesson, then rushed off to church once it ended, then again rush off from church to tuition. didn't even have time to take lunch. and it was only after i got home after tuition tt i realised tt i was feeling feverish and headach-ish... somemore was talking for 2 hrs with my tution boy with a sore throat. wah lau...

and so, bu4 zi1 bu4 jue2 the wk end is gone...

so now i'm down with some throat infection, esp bad this morning when i woke up, but now feeling better liao, thanks to everyone who wished me to get well soon. went to see patrick and he gave me some lozenges, think it actually works. :)

oh yes, my running shoes are quite action. it's neon pink and neon yellow. haha yar, u read tt correctly. hope to use them soon after i recover from this sickening infection. cause ahm's coming up and i've not been training... it's quite comfortable and light, yet provides enough support for flatter-footed pple like moi. :) it's a triathlon shoe, which roughly explains the color combination.

oh yes, windsurfing's really fun! heard sj wants to learn also? quick go learn then next time can go together! :) can go jio some pple to learn with u too.

today was ivan's bdae. we got him this pink/white bathing ape polo at queensway. think it's very ivan but he kept saying he don't dare to wear... aiyoh. nicenice, i think it looks nice on u. the choc cake tt sijin bought was DELICIOUS. from the bengawan solo at nuh. then we ordered pizza for lunch, quite ok lar. drumlets are shiok! but cannot eat too much cause of throat. aiyoh.

hmmm think i go rest now, i need some sleep and recover quick.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

what a wonderful day!

sch today was wonderful cause all the lessons was short and sweet. haha, didn't have cofm tut today of course slack lar. then after sch went to queensway to get present for gan. ended up getting a _____ so guess the trip's not wasted. :) ended up wif something for myself too. hehe.

then after tt rushed back to sch for cg on 197. wah, i missed my bus stop and ended up 1 stop after nus. WALKED all the way back to engin fac from there lor and the worst part of the walk was the yih hill. pengz... somemore didn't have dinner yet so did a super-dinner in 5 mins. haha.

cg was amazing. i think i really learnt alot and i felt the love of God in the place so tangibly. nice. real cool... before i went i was really tired and felt a bit not like gg, but i really didn't regret gg down today. received alot from the sharing session. v beautiful.

then we went fong seng for supper! haha. never been there so late before. had a teh ping which wasn't very good anyway, very diluted lorz. not nice. but still quite full from my super-dinner so didn't eat lor. but a bit hungry now leh.

oh, tml i'm gg windsurfing wif cy, gan etc. wahaha. v happy and excited now. in fact lessons are on sat and sun, and it's $20 cheaper than i thought (i.e. $40). can't wait. nitez. :)

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

no title. really

hmmm, the internet connection is up liao. it's good cause it's now wireless, and i'm typing this entry on my bed. hehe. but still got wires, cause still got mouse and power cable. i can't seem to figure out using the lap top mouse thingy.

today didn't do much work, just finished the remaining of anti-viral drugs in jawetz before pbl, then went home after tt. really didn't feel like studying today. oh well. relex day for me! :) playing another game of dota later with the guys at 10.

oh, 1 thing is tt i can't seem to locate my wc3 reign of chaos cd, which is why i can't install frozen throne on this laptop... so will still have to play on the other laptop later. :)

txl did a very sweet thing for me today! thanks. *waves* i put the paper in the front of my file, and can sing to my fav song over and over again, which is really what i did today whilst waiting for the bus. wah lau didn't expect the 95s to be jam packed at 4pm - 2 buses just went past the nuh stop w/o even stopping... aiyoh. then even better it was pouring and ants started migrating into the bus stop.

wahahaha.

it really caused quite a show in the bus stop when a poor woman found ants crawling up her legs. :) kan hao xi...

just checking mail
haha, just had an exciting game of dota with hy, kiats, tilam, wm, deepblue, me etc. wah wm was damn zai! haha. and i got pawned the most times. 6 deaths to 1 kill. haha. but it's fun. late. sleep.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004


this is the photo collage tt i assembled. it's actually 1 large photo frame and all those photos are actually 4r sized. *sigh* miss the hk days. well, i actually wanted to hang it on the wall, but decided tt blu-tac wouldn't hold. :) dont' know how to use the power drill w/o some demolition. blur photo, tried, but can't be helped... hey, try to make out the pple in the photo! :) Posted by Hello


the laptop on the R is the new one. must larger, almost 2x better performance. i'm now still blogging on the old one. the new one's a fujitsu 8010. and yes, my table is very messy. :) Posted by Hello

song running through my head

playing guang liang's di yi qi over and over again, think it's at least 20 times liao. and each time i listen to it i find the song more and more meaningful. was trying to find the lyrics on net but cannot seem to find the chinese ones. hanyu pinyin makes no sense, and even i can type it myself.

somehow never sang this song in ktv before. don't know why. hmmm if anyone happens to have the lyrics pls send me ok?

alot of things happened today. ran in the morning at the track and was quite surprised to see so many other med pple there. haoyun, colin, jon tan, jy, jolin, plus zj, qich and me. ms lim was supposed to join us but she couldn't wake up so passed. next time ok? :)

haha, and zj was remarking on how come they never jio us along. then i reminded him tt we also never jio them. "hmm oh yes." it was a good run, though when we started it was drizzling; when we were running it was bright and sunny; when we stopped it was cloudy... so variable one the weather.

after sch had dinner with my dad when he came down to collect the laptop with me at mpsh. cool, it's my 19th bdae present. hehe. nice. happy. but the setting up of the nus internal network was TERRIBLE. really headache until siao lor. and the pple who came to 'help' out couldn't at all cause they were really students too. the instructions given were unclear and SO hard to follow... sigh. got very fustrated after spending a good 2 hrs trying to figure things out.

if there's anything tt drives pple mad it's technical difficulties.

then i realise tt there's still the script to be done, which i'm actually quite lost as to how to do but will try. i'm just afraid tt things will be too late. the rest of the wk is actually quite packed, esp this coming wkend. going windsurfing. haha.

tution's been reduced to 1 time/wk now, quite glad actually. can free up more time for myself. but the thing is tt i think my tution kid will need more help than 2hrs/wk. asked him to call me when he has probs and seems like he's using this new privilege well.

something's exciting coming up soon, 1st time ever. think it'll be nice, though expensive. :) confirmed the details this afternoon only at jelita. gg with friends will always be nice. :)

Sunday, September 12, 2004

declaration

kim warned me today over lunch tt i was in high danger tt i would end up getting 5 copies of jamie cullum's twenty something. haha. realised tt and thought it would indeed be quite funny if tt really happened.

well, funny not equals desirable. :o>

well, then she pointed out tt maybe due to my highly discreet hinting tt i may end up not getting the cd at all cause everyone will be thinking 1 step ahead.

well anyway her bottom line was essentially: "wah lau, where got pple so bhb one. and tt's not a hint." a stab to the heart. haha sliced right through. :)

feelings... nothing more than feelings

isn't it weird how God created us all with feelings? what a wonderful thing it is to be able to have emotions, to be able to feel differently about different situations and to be able to express ur opinion on stuff happening around u.

but it's amazing stuff, this feelings thing. nothing else has been able to make someone happy beyond words, or sad beyond hope. feelings are often strong stuff, things tt make us do silly things - feelings of hoplesssness and desperation tt drives the man to suicide; love tt drives the boy to stand up and declare his passion for his girl to the horizon. but always, feelings are given a disproportionately large influence on our lives and actions.

many a times we're taken on an emotional roller coaster by the chain of events tt occur around us. often it is an unconcious process, but it is always we, who are the ones who allow feelings to bring us on a wild ride. yep, through every step of a new experience; through each event tt happens in our lives, feelings are there. and feelings are strong. all the way through the initial fear, followed by hope, joy, love, expectation, assumption, disappointment, anger, sadness, pride, depression and ending with healing and love.

yep, those feelings are stong. and everyone is as strong if not more intense than the preceeding one.

feelings are real, and they're there always. every step of the way. but what's real-er are the promises of God, tt'll he'll be there every step of the way with me. through it all - through fear, hope, joy, love, expectation, assumption, disappointment, anger, sadness, pride, depression, healing and love.

it's real important to keep tt conciousness in ur mind, and ur heart. tt's something i've learnt. no matter how hypocritical i may feel and no matter how 'bad' an example i may be setting, it ain't matter. it's not me man, it never was about me. not any one of us too. :) now hope, never forget tt.

--

a yandao's sending me a song now. haha, it was a song he was looking for for almost 2 wks (?) liao. should be nice rite?

wah i tell u, today's tution was tu(4) xue(3). explain until i want to vomit liao lar. and something tt i realised is tt i always spend >2hrs each time, something like 2hr 15mins each session. hmmm. never mind lar, don't mind. but today really very tired... started to get a little (just a little) irritated when repeated explaination didn't get through. couldn't be more glad to get out of the house.

haha.

hmmm, older than my yrs is quite nice. thanks yandao. sad song lar nonetheless... gonna sleep liao, long wk ahead.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

bus stop episode

an interesting thing happened today. was waiting at the bus stop opposite far east and when 132 came, this man immediately got up from his seat and tried to flag down the bus. well, the bus didn't stop. simply cause it doesn't stop there, but a couple tens of metres down the road at the next bus top closer to the american club. the poor man then gave a wah-lau-i can't-believe-what-just-happened face. stood there for a couple of moments and stared at the bus slow to a stop at the next bus stop, and slowly walked towards it, only to have the bus leave before he took 5 steps.

haha, i really couldn't help but laugh when i saw his face... :)

and it was only a moment after when i thought to myself - why didn't he run to the next bus stop when he saw the bus at the next bus stop? (it was barely just 30m away)

but some pointers i picked up:
1) when u discover something's wrong, DO SOMETHING to correct the wrong whilst u still can. don't wait for ur bus to go before u regret.
2) wait at the right location for ur bus to come. cause if u wait at the wrong bus stop u'll never get ur bus.

yep, pointers tt can be applied to the same game called "life".

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

mr dou(4)

haha, watching mr bean now. quite silly lar the show. the jokes arn't even very funny. but still can induce some laughter lar. haha. :)

aiyoh, the photos i pasted on my wall have been falling off... 1 frame even broke this morning. boo hoo.

wah, tution was SUPER tiring today. rushed down from nus and took 151 for the first time. thanks sijin for helping me estimate the time to get down to jalan tp. met cheesie on the bus and had a good chat, at least someone to accompany me on the long bus ride. talked abt many things, including pets and brownies and interesting personalities in med fac. haha.

and cause i lost track of the time in the canteen before i left, i was late for 1/2 hr. aiyoh. ok lor, so bu(3) back for him lor. and it was super taxing today cause i spent 1 hr explaining the concept of negative numbers and positive numbers, and their associated multiplication/division/addition/subtraction to him. wahhahaha. almost went mad (as in crazy, demented) when he still didn't get it after explaining until my mouth dry. but when he finally got it, there was an immense sense of accomplishment. hehe. :)

so tution was 2.5hrs in the end cause we were going through 1 last maths sum which really neither of us (more of me lar) was really keen to finish. the 2 kids in the house were leaving for dinner, and when we left, there was something wrong with the door! could lock, but after tt cannot open again! got stuck. oh dear... hope they'll get it repaired soon, if not kena locked out not a good experience hor.

Monday, September 06, 2004

late entry. again.

was lookng at the nike REAL run results (yep they're accessible here) and found tt shao feng is damn good at running. :) i lost to him by almost a minute. he shall be my inspiration to train up. seems tt he ran with his brother?

tried finding some others who told me they went too / i saw them there. didn't manage to locate all though. found alvin, jy, mingchang, colin, shao feng and andrew's timings.

"running for the heart, fishing for calm". just a quote from the fabulous book - "the house of God". great book a must for every houseman. heard it's a compulsory read in some uni in aust for the med pple. nono, it's not a christian book. so even non-christians pls go read it. the edition i have is a super loud bright green one. i must, i must, i must improve my... choy not bust. but my timing. :)

friends just started. very sad, last season, i think it's last episode somemore if i'm not wrong. "i'll be there for you! ~dee daa dum~"

jb just msged me. nice chap. thanks.

tml's there tution. hmmm, actually looking forward to it, cause i've to get new shoes on wed with chris. :) the only thing tt's 'not good' in a sense is tt i can't do my mugging. haha. :)

oh yes, got all the photos up on my wall liao! haha, now my room's quite nice, plastered with memories from the past. happy ones.

icsy told me tt his chest was hurting yesterday night. hope he's ok. take care ok boy?

Sunday, September 05, 2004

nice jazz

listening to diana krall "live in paris" now. great cd. bought this and melissa errico when i went out with jg. cause gramaphone was having a sale outside john little. each cd was < $10.

al was commenting tt i sound suicidal. haha.

and apparently alot of pple ard are asking me if it's them whom i'm 'pissed' with. aiyar really don't care lar. and i don't think tt should be a primary concern. don't u think so?

good tt al's signing up for ahm too. 1 more person to keep me company.

OH YES. collected the photos today. very happy. :D spent most of the night in front of the tv or on the phone, and arranging the photos into the photo frames most of the time. haha, looking back at the hk photos i really miss the times tt i had. those 5 days with qich, yq, ht, al, ivan. wah lau. what i wouldn't give for those times again. :)

and it's real nice cause i've this gigantic photo frame which is like 100x60cm and i arranged a photo collage in it to hang in my room. with lots of smaller frames ard too. haven't hung them up yet.

also deved the photos from basic open water course and those from malacca roadtrip. yay. happy. :)

will take al's advice and sleep early.

memorable day

today was the first time i gave tution. haha, to this boy tt yq introed. he's really enthu abt sch work, really quite rare. so of course it's very easy to teach him lar. tutioning him maths. initially we agreed on 2hrs a wk, but he thinks he wants 4hrs now. not sure if i can manage but i'll see if we can work things out.

met p today at millenia before service, cause i was feeling sad again this morning. and it's really alot of revelations tt i got through talking to him, listening to him, and just crying on his shoulders. it was quite embarrassing cause we were actually just walking along when i broke down. we just stopped and he just comforted me. so we were just standing there with don't know how many pple looking on. but really at tt moment u don't care liao. then it started to drizzle. really, it's quite drama to think abt it, but i felt very much better and there're a few pts i've come to realise.

this heart belongs to God and He will take care of it.

i'm just going to give up altogether liao, p advised me tt just not tokking at all would really help. it's silly of me to hope tt everything would be the same as before, completely unaffected. it will be, and there's no pt trying to salvage the situation. just let go and suan(4) le(4).

now i understand why it's so hard for pple to still keep in close contact after a brkup. i had grand illusions but really what's the pt trying to maintain something tt has not much value really?

and the most impt thing i realised today is tt there are pple ard me who care. genuinely care. pple i can approach and sit with, who will listen to me and who will offer a shoulder to lean on and a hand to comfort. i've just been looking at the wrong person. thanks jg, thanks p.

i tried to be strong. i fell. there's no pt in trying to be strong. let your friends love u back into wholeness. but i can feel tt today was different, just feel it.

the right pple to comfort is impt. some pple just have tendencies to make things worse. irritating even. just shoo.

help's out there

and maybe i've just been asking the wrong pple.

u can't force someone to care for u. :(

jg told me yesterday, "isn't it funny how man goes around seeking happy moments in their lives when all they remember are the sad ones?"

how true tt is. arn't our most vivid memories those tt cut us deep?

the script's been changed, and i agree tt it's for the better. think i want out of playhouse, need some time on my own.

running away's easy, often tempting. facing ur probs is tough but necessary.

Saturday, September 04, 2004

nothing much...

just came home, was out with jg in town, met up for dinner. nice of him to accompany me. the dinner at taka was really lousy, but we met the judo pple when we were sitting in front of tt fountain tokking. haven't seen zhongyi in some while liao, and he's put on a little bit of weight. was eating when ivan called to ask abt me. :)

then after tt we went to coffee club @ orchard fountain. wah, very nice tt place. and it's open 24 hrs somemore. very nice setting but just had too many pple liao lar, so the service was a little bit slow. and it was damn funny when the music started to go all wrong (like it happens in pirated cds) and the bartenders started to shake uncontrollably until 1 of them shouted for someone to "do something abt it". haha, all those mats. clowning ard.

oh, met teresa too. she wanted to borrow jg's clarinet mar. she and her bf are quite sweet. :)

kena trashed at dota today. wah lau. really kena wacked silly. played 2 games, lost both. haha. did a little reading on ortho/paramyxoviruses, i think the 6th ed of jawatz is good. the 8th ed in the library sucks. where got new ed worse than old ed one...

oh yes, sent the photos for dev today! yay, will collect them tml. had some probs finding the place though, thanks qich for helping out. haha, it was quite silly actually cause i was standing in front of the shop when i called herto ask where. aiyoh, the shop sign so hard to see... it's all the way inside mar. and from the outside it looks as if it's only a camera shop. :)

it's nice to have a friend to tok to when u're down. just cross ur fingers and hope the pple u call arn't sleeping.

*gasp*

oh, found out yesterday at cg tt there're more pple than i think who're reading my blog. haha.

hmmm, can start to feel the pressure from sch begin to build up liao, and also the many commitments tt are taking up time too. leaving really very much no time to sit ard and stone, just unwinding; staring into blank space.

but today's a lovely day. just woke up and found lunch waiting on the table. there has rarely been a day tt i slept more than 6hrs, but yesterday i slept 9hrs! haha, what a luxury.

yea, but works starting to pour in, got more chapters to cover now, and i really haven't started COFM or neuroscience yet. hmmm, actually also i think COFM is quite misunderstood. well, at least some topics lar. and in fact, i find the stats portion quite hard. alot of concepts i haven't grasped yet. and the bad thing also is tt most pple approach COFM with quite a lousy attitude, which is really not very good lar.

i kept saying tt i want to go develop photos, but don't have the time to go down... and also can't collate all the photos.

aiyar, better go get myself occupied again. when loneliness creeps up, squash it. just the slightest hint should be enough to evoke a response.

realisation

i realised tt my blog is a very sad place. i was reading my archives and this wave of sadness just overcame me.

times were better previously. not now. i'm still climbing out of the pit i've fallen into.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

diana krall rocks!

bought her cd today at the science foyer, think it's a dollar cheaper than elsewhere. alright, since i've been wanting to buy it anyway but was hunting ard for a cheaper place. it's "the look of love" if anyone cares to know.

i love jazz music. it's just so soothing and melodious. not some mad screaming or bellowing. very smooth, fluid, calming and melodious. the lyrics have deep meanings too.

it's actually quite hard to find a good guy jazz singer, don't even think michael buble is tt good after listening to the cd alvin got me. but i think jamie cullum should be good, after hearing his "twenty something" on tv. but have to wait a while before getting another cd.

hmmm, or maybe someone could get me tt for my *ahebmahemaheirmahemahetmahhemahemahemdahemaaheym*

yar so anyway, jazz is great. the unintiated should quickly get themselves acquainted with such wonderful genere of music.

oh yes, for those who haven't noticed, the pictire of the cute clownfish is gone. there's some prob tt i'm still trying to resolve.

i've learnt something - don't be too reliant on individuals. cause if u put too much hope on a person, he'll probably disappoint. smart pple learn from mistakes. smarter pple learn from the mistakes of others. learn from mine.

oh yes, went gym today for a while after coming home from med lib mugging session. i feel good, de deh de deh de.